The Nor'easter Lobster Roll: Boone's Fish House & Oyster Room

This post is waaaaay overdue and my apologies for being such a slacker. But it's getting really hard to get excited about writing a review on a bad lobster roll. And I seem to be on a current streak of sub par rolls. It's a tiny bit depressing.

This particular roll depressed me because overall I love Boone's Fish House & Oyster Room... I think most of their food is delicious and the location is on point. Their top deck on a beautiful sunny day is a spot I could park myself for a whole afternoon. (But don't forget your sunscreen because there's not an umbrella to be found!)

The Boone's lunch menu boasts three lobster rolls to choose from:

SHOAL COVE LOBSTER ROLL // knuckle + claw meat, mayo, lemon, shredded iceberg, grilled hot dog roll • $24.95 

NOR'EASTER // knuckle + claw meat, warmed in butter, grilled hot dog roll • $24.95 

COW ISLAND LOBSTER ROLL // pound and a quarter lobster, mayo, lemon, shredded iceberg, grilled hot dog roll • $30.95

I got the Nor'easter. Mainly for its lack of greenery.

Now that I look back, I wonder if it was even a good idea to order a lobster roll. Why didn't I just stick with my first choice? I would've been so happy with the fried scallop BLT. Or even a nice piece of haddock with a side of crispy brussel sprouts. But noooooo.... I had to get greedy. I see "lobster roll" on a menu and my mind goes all crazy and my eyes get big and I can think of nothing else.

First, let's talk about the "knuckle + claw" meat. WHAT? Back in the day, I would've jumpy clapped at the idea of just knuckle and claws because it took me a while to warm up to the texture of the tail meat. Hell, I didn't even like lobster until I was in my 20s. Crazy, right? I started small with the claws and worked my way up to the tail. So I'm by no means anti-claw.

This lobster roll was not good. There were some pieces of claw meat that almost looked chalky when I bit into them. How does that even happen? Overcooked? It grossed me out a little bit. If the flavor had been good, I probably could've overlooked the chalky claw ends... but, alas, the flavor was a disappointment too.

The best part of the lobster roll was the delightfully grilled bun and the side of very tasty, tangy potato salad. No really, that's the only nice thing I can say about the experience. To think this lobster roll is just about the same price as The Beach Plum. There's absolutely no comparison.

I often recommend Boone's for its location and food. I'll continue to do so... I'll just steer folks clear of the lobster rolls.

Portland Waterfront Lobster Roll: Portland Lobster Company

There aren't many spots along Portland's waterfront as cool as Portland Lobster Company. It sits on a pier to the right of DiMillo's and smack dab amidst the bustle of Commercial Street. PLC appears to be just a tiny spot from the outside, but once you order your food and head out back to the covered outdoor seating area, you see how massive the place really is. We went on a Monday, arrived at just about noon on the dot and the place was already 90% full.

They offer live entertainment all summer long and boast a pretty decent beer list. There's a great view of the harbor and working waterfront. And don't fret... if your party contains some non-lobster lovers (blasphemous!), there's plenty of items on the menu to satisfy those landlubbers. I love this spot... especially on a day when it's too hot to be baking in the sun and the covered seating area is a welcome reprieve when you just want to sit outside.

They have just one lobster roll on the menu - but one that was Voted BEST OF PORTLAND 2017.

THE LOBSTER ROLL - Fresh picked meat from one pound lobster, brushed with sweet butter. Served on a toasted roll with both mayonnaise and lemon, cole slaw and french fries on the side. MARKET

The market price was $16.99 that day which was a pleasant surprise. The big shock, however, was the lobster roll itself. It could be I expected too much from a place voted Best Of... or maybe they were bogged down with orders and didn't spend enough time preparing my lobster roll. Regardless, I was disappointed.

The roll was poorly toasted. It appeared to have no butter on it and may have been toasted for about eleven seconds. For me, this seems like the easiest thing to do so I'm always annoyed when it comes to me in this state. If you're going to say it's toasted, just make sure the damn thing is actually toasted. Is anyone tired of me saying "toasted" yet? Now it doesn't even sound like a real world...

There was a fair amount of lobster meat on the bun – a little haphazardly tossed on maybe, but an acceptable amount nonetheless. It was lightly dressed with butter which hardly tasted sweet and I was offered no mayo on the side (which I may have actually used this time!) The meat was a mix of claw and tail and well-cooked, but the lobster oddly tasted bland. This is not my first trip to PLC and I don't remember my previous lobster rolls to be tasteless so I'm confused what they did or didn't do.

Definitely, don't let this review sway you from visiting Portland Lobster Co. It's a great spot in Portland's Old Port and since this lobster roll was voted Best of, I feel like maybe there were just having an off day. They could've been short-staffed, their bun toaster might have called in sick... I just find it hard to believe that this is the quality of lobster roll that everyone is getting.

Bob's #2 Lobster Roll: Bob's Seafood

Not to be confused with the Bob's Clam Hut, Bob's Seafood is located on Route 302 in Windham and fancies itself "The Total Seafood Store." And if you're in the area, there aren't a whole lot of other choices for fresh seafood as you dive deeper into the Lakes Region. I always feel a little weird when I order a lobster roll from a place that isn't at least within spittin' distance of the ocean and this place was no exception.

Like The Fisherman's Catch in Raymond, the view is nothing to gush over because basically there is none. It's a down and dirty, get your roll, take picture of roll, eat your roll, ponder the quality of roll and leave. There will be no wandering outside to take a few pictures of the view... unless you enjoy parking lots and buildings and traffic.

Bob's lobster roll initially looks delicious when they hand over the tray. But don't be fooled, that lobster roll is a total Picasso – you know, looks good from far away but once you get up close and personal, it's trickery, dammit!

At first glance, you would think the bun is overflowing with lobster meat. Truth is... a lot of the lobster is just sitting on top of the bun. And don't even get me started on that bun. It's not the traditional New England split-top roll that I so enjoy. It's somewhere between the hot dog and the stupid brioche roll. That thing was so doughy, Pillsbury would be envious. I was seriously distracted by how much bread came with each bite. The only good thing about that bread was its grill state. They do give you an option of whether or not you want your bun grilled. But really... who, in their right mind, says no to a grilled bun?

And then there was the lobster. The chunks were a perfect bite size as I prefer, and it tasted pretty fresh (I would hope so seeing as I was sitting right next to the lobster tanks!), but the mayo was a bit too heavy and the lobster was slightly moist which gave it an almost slimy texture. It lacked the salty fresh tang I love so much and honestly, there was nothing memorable about its overall flavor. The cost was average at $19.99 – and I paid an extra $2 to add chips and cole slaw.

This lobster roll wasn't dreadful... but I definitely won't be rushing back for another one. And if you're in the area, do yourself a favor and drive the extra three miles up 302 to The Fisherman's Catch. Sorry, Bob!