Standish Lobster Roll: Patch's Variety

I know it's been a really long time between new lobster roll posts and believe me, I'm not happy about it either. Don't get me wrong... it's not like I've gone lobster roll-free the last few months, but you guys don't care to read about the repeat offenders (which you know must be good ones if I'm going back for more!) In case you're wondering, you can never go wrong with Bite Into Maine and Morse's Cribstone Grill! Just remember that as you read the following tale...

This is a tale of a spot you wouldn't think would be known for its succulent lobster roll which is why it took me so long to finally drag my sorry ass over there. But when so many people recommend a lobster roll and you're the kind of person who really likes lobster rolls, you must acquiesce. So after yet another relative demanded I give it a try, I headed over to Patch's Variety in Standish – where Route 35 meets White's Bridge Road, not far from the scenic shores of Sebago Lake.

Unlike those lake shores, Patch's is anything but scenic. It's a gas station with a convenience store that makes your average c-store take out. But this one also does lobster rolls – the only food promoted on the store's roadside signage. What the hell, I thought. It hasn't killed any of my relatives so there's that.

Patch's lobster rolls are seasonal – available May to September – with two different size options, served with (no) or without (yes) lettuce. I ordered the Small because committing to the Giant my first time is dumb – especially considering the location.

Small Lobster Roll – $12.04

Giant Lobster Roll – $30.09

This is also a tale of love at first sight. At first glimpse of this lobster roll, you want to tongue kiss the old man who handed it to you because even the Small has some serious girth. At first glimpse, this lobster roll is almost a thing of beauty. It's stuffed full of acceptably sized lobster chunks mixed with a touch of mayo and served on a nicely toasted hot dog roll. And it's $12. Yes, TWELVE. 

This is also a tale of disappointment. The first sign of disappointment came when I searched for a place to enjoy this lobster roll. Then I remembered I was at a gas station so I chose to sit in my car in the middle of the dusty parking lot surrounded by questionable characters in questionable black windowless vans. There goes my rule about not eating in the new car! 

The second sign of disappointment came when I took my first bite. And every bite after that. Why I didn't stop after the first three bites, I'll never know. I'm guessing it had something to do with either (a) not wanting to waste the $12 or (b) thinking that maybe the damn thing would get better. Option B definitely did not happen. Maybe I was there on an off day because clearly, that lobster meat was not the freshest. It first lacked actual taste and what taste it did have was that of seafood a few days old. Cue sad slide trombone.

I'm guessing Saturdays are a pretty busy day at Patch's with all the lake traffic and such. It would only make sense to me that you'd mix up a fresh batch for the tourists! Oh well... better luck next time, I guess. Although for me, there will be no next time for this joint.

Newly Year-round Lobster Rolls: Bite Into Maine & Highroller Lobster Co.

When I began this lobster roll noshing adventure, it was my goal to only write one review per establishment. That was before the food truck/cart folks started opening brick and mortar operations and completely throwing my plan off its rocker. And when some of your favorite seasonal lobster rolls are now available year-round, that calls for a celebration... and a blog post.

As you may remember, Bite Into Maine was one of my favorite lobster rolls from last summer. With food trucks at Portland Head Light and Allagash Brewing, they've made the top of numerous lobster roll lists. When I heard they were opening a small place on Route 1 in Scarborough, I might have done my best Michael Flatley performance. (Hint: I probably looked more like a toddler standing on hot coals.)

Their spot on Route 1 is diminutive. With about enough seating for maybe a dozen diners, this location definitely lacks the capacity to handle summer crowds. Luckily they're not planning on giving up the food trucks anytime soon. The menu for the Scarbrough location has a few additions like Lobster Grilled Cheese ($11.95) and a Lobster BLT ($11.95). But they also stay true to the lobster rolls offered at the two food truck locations. During this visit, I decided to switch up my order and got the Maine Style with light mayonnaise and fresh chives ($17.95). As expected, it was friggin' delicious!

Now if that wasn't exciting enough for you, Highroller Lobster Co. has also graduated from food cart to a full blown restaurant on Exchange Street in Portland. The thought of being able to stuff that taco cheese crisp lobster roll thingy in my pie hole whenever I feel like it makes me ridiculously happy. (Cue more spazzy dancing.) And for that reason, I was excitedly there for lunch on the day they opened. It's a cool place. Lots of red and white with a big wooden lobster and a lot of amazing neon. Oh and a pretty killer and ever evolving beer list.

I thought about trying something different on that opening day menu. A traditional lobster roll perhaps? Maybe a Lobby Pop? It was tempting, but each time I read the menu description of that damn Lobster Cheese Crisp Taco ($17), I just couldn't pull the trigger on anything else. I mean it's cheese, it's lobster, it's avocado... it's ridiculous and delicious.

So go forth and be free of the seasonal and weather dependent food truck/cart and eat your lobster rolls or tacos or pops in rain, sleet or snow!

Beer + Lobster Roll = Heaven: Bite Into Maine

When most people think of heading to Bite Into Maine for one of their famous lobster rolls, they head out to Fort Williams Park in Cape Elizabeth, grab a seat overlooking the majestic Atlantic, and take in the sites of Portland Head Light. Yeah, I've done that.

For this visit to Bite Into Maine however, I chose to visit their new second food truck location at Allagash Brewing Company... because, duh... BEER!! When I heard this food truck would be stationed at Allagash every weekend this summer, I thought to myself, I bet this is what heaven is like. Beer and lobster rolls go together like peanut butter and jelly!

Industrial Way is one of my favorite stops for beer in Portland... and a flight at Allagash is always an adventure — this trip was no exception! One of the most forward thinking breweries in Maine, they always have something on the tap list that will surprise your taste buds and leave you wondering, how the hell do they keep churning out all these super amazing beers, one after another after another? It boggles my tiny little brain.

Allagash opens at 11am and while most people are still brunching at that time of the morning, the brewery is already filling up quickly with folks from far and wide enjoying a brunch time beer flight. And while I loved all the tap offerings I tried (House Beer, Little Brett, Golden Brett and Interlude), I did miss their White which to me is a perfect breakfast brew.

If you're in it for the scenery, you're better off going out to Fort Williams... but if your idea of the perfect lobster roll eating view is a flight of beer, you must pick this location! But enough about the beer (even though I could go on and on) and let's talk about the reason we're all here... the lobster roll!

There are a number of menu options at Bite Into Maine:
• Maine Style with light mayonnaise and fresh chives
• Connecticut Style with hot butter
• Picnic Style which includes a layer of cole slaw, hot butter and a dash of celery salt
• Wasabi mayo | Curry mayo | Chipotle mayo

I went with the Connecticut Style lobster roll. If I have to whine about something, can I just mention how much of a problem I have with the hot butter version being referred to as "Connecticut Style"? Nothing against the state, but I'm fairly certain they didn't invent the hot butter + lobster combo. Oh, and CT style lobster rolls are supposed to be served with warm lobster. So if my lobster is cold, what does that make it? Just a thought and totally open for discussion.

First, let me just talk about the roll... the roll was grilled to perfection. They didn't skimp on the butter giving it that golden brown color and flavor of the ideal grilled cheese (minus the cheese!) It wasn't over grilled or lightly grilled, it was just right. And there was no lettuce. I repeat NO LETTUCE! That part made me so happy!

Then there was the lobster. I don't know what to say other than it was flawless. Everything about it was absolute perfection. The freshness, the flavor, the appropriately sized chunks, the amount of lobster (although let's be serious here... you honestly can't put enough lobster in a roll that would satisfy my love for this damn crustacean.) The price was $17.95 — the going rate in the current lobster economy. This roll was so amazing, I completely forgot about the bag of chips I bought to go with it. Honestly, I think I was in a state of lobster roll euphoria.

All in all, it was a most enjoyable experience... the sun shone, the beer flowed and the lobster roll delighted. Not a bad was to spend a Saturday afternoon. And I'd do it again in a heartbeat and I suggest you do too!