Standish Lobster Roll: Patch's Variety

I know it's been a really long time between new lobster roll posts and believe me, I'm not happy about it either. Don't get me wrong... it's not like I've gone lobster roll-free the last few months, but you guys don't care to read about the repeat offenders (which you know must be good ones if I'm going back for more!) In case you're wondering, you can never go wrong with Bite Into Maine and Morse's Cribstone Grill! Just remember that as you read the following tale...

This is a tale of a spot you wouldn't think would be known for its succulent lobster roll which is why it took me so long to finally drag my sorry ass over there. But when so many people recommend a lobster roll and you're the kind of person who really likes lobster rolls, you must acquiesce. So after yet another relative demanded I give it a try, I headed over to Patch's Variety in Standish – where Route 35 meets White's Bridge Road, not far from the scenic shores of Sebago Lake.

Unlike those lake shores, Patch's is anything but scenic. It's a gas station with a convenience store that makes your average c-store take out. But this one also does lobster rolls – the only food promoted on the store's roadside signage. What the hell, I thought. It hasn't killed any of my relatives so there's that.

Patch's lobster rolls are seasonal – available May to September – with two different size options, served with (no) or without (yes) lettuce. I ordered the Small because committing to the Giant my first time is dumb – especially considering the location.

Small Lobster Roll – $12.04

Giant Lobster Roll – $30.09

This is also a tale of love at first sight. At first glimpse of this lobster roll, you want to tongue kiss the old man who handed it to you because even the Small has some serious girth. At first glimpse, this lobster roll is almost a thing of beauty. It's stuffed full of acceptably sized lobster chunks mixed with a touch of mayo and served on a nicely toasted hot dog roll. And it's $12. Yes, TWELVE. 

This is also a tale of disappointment. The first sign of disappointment came when I searched for a place to enjoy this lobster roll. Then I remembered I was at a gas station so I chose to sit in my car in the middle of the dusty parking lot surrounded by questionable characters in questionable black windowless vans. There goes my rule about not eating in the new car! 

The second sign of disappointment came when I took my first bite. And every bite after that. Why I didn't stop after the first three bites, I'll never know. I'm guessing it had something to do with either (a) not wanting to waste the $12 or (b) thinking that maybe the damn thing would get better. Option B definitely did not happen. Maybe I was there on an off day because clearly, that lobster meat was not the freshest. It first lacked actual taste and what taste it did have was that of seafood a few days old. Cue sad slide trombone.

I'm guessing Saturdays are a pretty busy day at Patch's with all the lake traffic and such. It would only make sense to me that you'd mix up a fresh batch for the tourists! Oh well... better luck next time, I guess. Although for me, there will be no next time for this joint.

Cribstone Lobster Roll: Morse's Cribstone Grill

The season for lobster rolls is sadly winding down and soon many on my list of places to try will be closed for the winter despite the unseasonably warm weather we've been having this October. I'm starting to feel as sense of urgency as I try to make it an even 30 lobster rolls for 2017. I need just three more!

For years, we made trips to the Bailey Island to visit Cook's Lobster House and every time, we drove right past Morse's Cribstone Grill. We talked about it, wondered about it but never stopped there until a few years ago. Now, this family-owned place that sits right on the water just across the famous (and world's only) Cribstone Bridge, is an annual pilgrimage. The people, the views, and the food have never disappointed us. And the desserts are some of my favorites!

Lobster Roll -- Fresh Maine lobster meat cooked and picked in house, mixed with a light amount of mayo and served in a butter & grilled Maine hot dog bun. Served with chips and a pickle.

Let's just get it out in the open right now... this lobster roll is fantastic! I can honestly say I have no complaints. It's traditional, it's stuffed, it's tasty, it's perfect. If this one turns out to be my final of the season, I'll be pleased to end on such a high note. (Although I'm not entirely ready to say goodbye to the crustacean crusade just yet!)

Morse's serves their lobster roll the right way – on a traditional New England split top roll that is perfectly buttered and grilled. I know, I know... I was just talking about that cheesy taco crisp shell that I claimed to want everything served in, but when it comes down to a traditional lobster roll, I can't deny that this is the preferred way.

The roll was stuffed full of beautifully cooked lobster meat. It was fantastically salty with just a touch of mayonnaise – it makes my mouth water just writing about it. I'm not claiming it's the most lobster you'll get, but there was enough to make the sides of the roll bulge and damn, it was so flavorful!

And the price is right too! For $16 you get the lobster roll with chips and a pickle. I added a side of coleslaw (which was just average and I probably didn't need)... but then finished off the evening with one of their amazing desserts - strawberry shortcake in a jar! *slurp* I've also heard from a pretty reliable source that they have some of the best blueberry pie around.

As far as I know, they're closing October 9th but definitely put this one on your list for next summer.