Fort Popham Lobster Roll: Spinney's Oceanfront Restaurant

When someone says to you on a hot, sunny July 4th weekend, "Hey, let's go up to Popham Beach!" The correct answer is no freaking way! That place gets crowded on a non-holiday weekend so you can imagine the number of bodies sunning themselves on this particular day. With the State Park full, we parked in the lot at the old Percy's location and made our way to the small strip of beach at the mouth of the Kennebec River – a popular spot for striper fishing and our main purpose for the trip.

The advantage of this part of the beach is its close proximity to Spinney's Oceanfront Restaurant that sits just steps from the sand, and I had my eye on a lunchtime lobster roll. Spinney's is a cute place with both indoor and outdoor seating overlooking the beach, and a takeout counter popular for ice cream. After waiting my turn in the stifling, unairconditioned space, I placed my order to go.

Lobster Roll (4 oz, 100% meat)...... $19.95

100% meat? What the hell else would be in there? This statement confused me. 100% meat tells me they're not adding stupid things like lettuce. Liars. I don't see the purpose of that one flimsy piece of lettuce except to keep my lobster from falling out of the bottom of the bun should it break in half. I appreciate the concern but I'd rather take my chances.

So about that bun. There are two types of hot dog rolls. The traditional, New England style split top roll and the wrong one. Can you guess which one this lobster roll was in? The beauty of the split top roll is the ability to butter and grill the outside of the bun to golden brown deliciousness. My lobster roll came in the incorrect roll – complete with it's puffy, ungrillable sides and sadly toasted inside. My disappointment continued to build.

This lobster roll had one final chance to redeem itself before I fed it to the seagulls – the 100% meat. I can confirm, it was definitely all lobster and it was tasty. The well-prepared mix of claw and tail meat was salty, fresh and lightly dressed with mayo.  Four ounces isn't a ton of meat for twenty bucks – even if it IS 100% – but that seems to be the norm these days any place that isn't on  Route 1 in Wiscasset.

The day was filled with half wins. Tasty lobster in the wrong roll. A couple of stripers on the hook but sadly none long enough to eat. A crowded beach yet we didn't murder anyone. If you happen to be up that way, I'd give Spinney's a try. Maybe you won't mind the puffy hot dog roll...

Portland Pier Lobster Roll: Luke's Lobster

If there was a lobster roll that topped my list to try this summer, it was Luke's Lobster lobster roll. The new location has been the talk of the town since the announcement last winter, with the 60 Portland Pier location marking Luke's first full-service and largest restaurant of his 40 global locations.

Not familiar with Luke Holden? He's a Cape Elizabeth native with lobster in his blood. A 25-year-old investment banker living in NYC, he was homesick for Maine and a good 'ol traditional lobster roll. And God knows you can't get anything even close to that in the Big Apple. Those big city folk try too hard to dress that shit up with too much mayo and lettuce and celery (oh, the horror!) and fancy bread. So what the hell... Luke just decided to make his own. His first lobster shack opened in the East Village in 2009 and he charged $14 per roll, while others were charging an arm and a couple legs – typical NYC... I could go on but I won't so Google him, he seems like a really interesting and clearly super smart guy.

So on to the task at hand. It was a Friday and a beautiful day in downtown Portland so I grabbed a couple coworkers and headed down to the Pier excited for my first Luke's experience... Damn. No expense was spared in the construction of this restaurant. The location at the end of the pier offers spectacular views of Casco Bay in just about every direction. Part of me was slightly disappointed that we couldn't get a seat on the (somewhat smallish) deck; while the other part of me was relieved not to have to fight off any thieving seagulls.

We were seated immediately – something I'm sure doesn't happen during the dinner rush – in a very bright, window-filled dining room with killer views. (Here's my official plea for Luke's to please please please offer reservations for dinner!) I didn't really peruse the entire menu once I found my choices for lobster rolls so I really have no idea what else they offer.

Lobster Roll: Classic or Jumbo - $20/$26
Claw and knuckle meat lightly dressed with mayo and butter (or something like that)

I went with the Jumbo. Because I'm a pig and I want ALL the lobster.

Much to my dismay, the presentation of my lobster roll did not make a great first impression – just laying there all splayed out in its little basket. The lobster looked shiny and a little weird. But I refused to make any snap judgments because this was Luke's and how the hell could someone be this successful making sucky lobster rolls.

Guess what? This lobster roll did not suck. It was pretty far from sucking.

The traditional split top roll that is so crucial to my happiness was buttered and toasted. Yay. The lobster meat was claws and knuckles, which if cooked properly can be just as enjoyable as a lobster roll with tail meat included – look at me evolving! And yes, every bite of that lobster was so sweet and delicious, I didn't want it to end. My mouth waters just writing this blog post. The combination of light mayo AND melted butter is now my new favorite thing in the world and needs to happen on every future lobster roll I eat. There was no stupid lettuce or anything else that could be construed as needless filler. It comes with chips and a pickle too!

If I had one complaint – and you knew it was coming – I'd say it was the price. The lobster roll in the photo was $26. I'm familiar with what $26 can get me and it's a lot more lobster than this. See the obnoxiously overflowing roll at Red's Eats in Wiscasset (although that pile of lobster also comes with a painful hour plus wait in line.) So yeah... add more lobster to the jumbo and I'll be less whiny.

Overall, I'll recommend this place in a heartbeat. The location, the food, the atmosphere – all top notch. It's a touch expensive but then again Portland IS a foodie town!

Fore Street Lobster Roll: Maine Lobster Shack

The Maine Lobster Shack opened last summer on Fore Street in Portland, a few doors down from the Five Guys (or for you old folks like me, where the Blue Moon used to be!!) I've been wanting to try it since I first heard about it but could never seem to get my lazy ass in gear – until a few days ago when I finally made it! I walked in at lunchtime and immediately got nervous at the lack of other customers. Ohhhhh crap... what had I gotten myself (and my lunch companions) into? I'm hoping it's just a lack of knowledge causing the emptiness.

The first thing I noticed was the beer list because that's usually my first order of business. They get extra points for having a sour on tap - Oxbow's Moon Rocks - which was delicious, by the way!

And then I started in on the menu. They offer three different Lobster Rolls:

Maine Lobster Roll - $19
Lobster meat mixed with mayo, a hint of celery, lemon, salt & pepper.
"Hint of celery" – WTF? I almost got up and walked out.

Brown Butter Lobster Roll - $19
Warm lobster meat w/ brown butter.
No way – I've been burned by the promises of brown butter before so unless your restaurant name begins with Even and ends in Tide, cut the shit.

Umami Lobster Roll - $21
Lobster meat, smoked oyster kewpie, crispy shallots, lemon zest.
I'm sorry, come again? Kewpie? WHAT THE HELL IS KEWPIE? All I could picture was little creepy doll heads staring up at me from my plate. Pass.

I decided to go with the Maine Lobster Roll and in an unprecedented move since I started blogging about lobster rolls, I asked them to leave that evil celery off. Normally, I'd just grin and bear it and then completely chastise them for it, but I just friggin' hate celery. So I told the waitress that putting celery on a lobster roll is sacrilege and to tell whoever was making these rolls they should never put celery on them... ever. If you take a look at their website, it actually says "Welcome to the Way Rolls Should Be" which made me roll my eyes so far back into my head, I'm pretty sure I saw my brain. Celery is for amateurs.

The celery incident caused dread to fill every crevice of my soul as I wondered if this thing could possibly be any good... And then it arrived. I inspected the roll – possibly brioche but buttered and grilled to my standards. The lobster meat was plentiful, although all claws and knuckles which sometimes isn't a good thing. If you don't cook those lobsters right, the tips of the claws get all chalky tasting which can seriously torpedo a perfectly good sandwich. As for the dressing, light mayo, chives and a dusting of lemon zest rounded out this Maine Lobster Roll.

I squeezed my eyes shut and dove in, not sure what to expect. On the outside, it looked like a tasty offering. And guess what? It WAS! The brioche roll was not overpowering and the amount of lobster was enough to offset any breadiness. The lobster was properly cooked and flavorful with no chalky claw tips (bonus!) The dressings were subtle and the addition of the lemon zest was an enjoyable surprise.

Honestly, if you're looking for a really good, traditional lobster roll in Portland's Old Port, this is the best one I've had so far! (For those of you who are rolling your eyes because I didn't say it was Eventide, I said "traditional.") Give 'em a try... the fries are good too!

Webhannet Drive Lobster Roll: Wells Beach Lobster Pound

Oh man... Memorial Day Weekend... the official start of summer. And naturally, the official start of lobster roll season! Mainers have been struggling with the will to live this spring with below normal temperatures and buckets of rain, but the holiday weekend gave us a jolt of sunshine and warm temps for three consecutive days (with only a little rain mixed in for good measure, or to keep us on our toes.) I was heading out of town for a couple days so I felt the need to kick the weekend off with a lobster roll.

My destination: Wells Beach Lobster Pound. It was 72° when I left my house and I had grand visions of grabbing my roll and sitting on the retaining wall overlooking the water in front of the lobster pound. But as usual with this time of year, the ocean water temperature was so much colder than the air, keeping the temp a chilly 58° at the coast. Whatever, the view was still nice and it wasn't snowing so I call that a win.

I ordered my lobster roll the only way it comes - Lobster Roll - $16.99.

I was pleased with the initial appearance of my lobster roll.
Traditional split top roll... ✔
Acceptable amount of lobster meat... ✔
No stupid lettuce... ✔
Light mayo... ✔

The roll was toasted but not buttered and grilled. I never quite understand this approach since, for me, the state of the bread component is crucial. Of course, toasting is better than nothing but definitely second to buttery, grilled deliciousness.

Dressed with just a touch of mayo, the lobster meat tasted so oceany, it was clearly cooked in sea water. And the saltiness of the lobster made the mayo taste almost seasoned – I was so confused I actually had to back into the lobster pound to ask about it. Don't get me wrong, I really liked it. There's just something about being able to taste the ocean in a lobster roll that makes me so happy. I'm not saying it was perfect, but I definitely didn't want to throw it on the ground so that's a plus.

For you traitors non-lobster-roll-lovers, there's a bunch of other stuff on their menu - fried and otherwise. Also, I love a place that has those big, shallow lobster tanks so you can gawk at all the future lobster rolls crawling all over each other. There was one dude in that tank with a claw the size of my fist. It's not the most quaint looking place, but there's a pretty view and good lobster rolls... so if you're down that way, give it a try.

Kennebunkport #2 Lobster Roll: The Boathouse

Procrastination: the action of delaying or postponing something. 

I am a master of procrastination. Mostly it occurs when I'm not exactly excited about doing something and in this case, I have very little love for the lobster roll you're about the read about. This is by far a record for the longest delay in posting a review - I ate this lobster roll on December 6, 2018 – over FIVE months ago! I'm not saying I've gone this long without actually consuming a lobster roll, but over the winter I tend to frequent proven establishments like Bite Into Maine.

So back to the roll at hand. Last December, our holiday luncheon for work took place at The Boathouse in Kennebunkport, Maine. The Boathouse is a waterfront hotel and restaurant located on the banks of the Kennebunk River. It's a bright and sunny spot with super views. I honestly wouldn't mind going back and trying something else on the menu because, you guessed it, I wasn't impressed with their lobster roll.

The Lobster Roll
Mayo, lemon, chive, New England roll
$28

Like many I've disliked, at first glance, it looked so yummy. Lettuce-less and full of lightly mayo'd lobster, I happily dove in. And unhappily forced myself to finish... The main problem with this lobster roll was the temperature of the meat – it was ICE cold. So cold that it gave the lobster a slimy texture that did not work for me.

I honestly never in my life thought I would have complaints on the temperature of lobster meat. It didn't necessarily taste frozen, but it appeared that were keeping the crustacean on ice... lots and lots of ice. When I think back, I kind of roll my eyes at myself because holy crap, am I that much of a lobster snob that I need to have it at an optimum temperature to not bitch and whine about it? I was so distracted by it that I didn't even really grumble about the bready roll which I also sort of hated.

Also, can we just talk about the price? You've got to be pretty full of yourself to charge $28 for a mediocre lobster roll. Geez, even Red's Eats doesn't charge that much and if you've been there, you know what I'm talking 'bout. I now direct my eye-rolling at the person who sets the pricing on this menu. It was a rare occasion that I would've been happy for a "Market Price" tag.

Now that spring is here, expect to see more here on the blog. And hopefully, I'll have some kick-ass lobster rolls this season that blow my socks off! As per usual, if you have a favorite I should add to my list, let me know!

Cornish Lobster Roll: Bay Haven Lobster Pound

I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe I've had too many lobster rolls. Maybe I've had too many sub-par lobster rolls. Whatever it is, it's starting to get me down. I'm in need of a winning streak – and every time I have a less than stellar lobster roll, I have to go somewhere I know I'm going to always get a good one – like a cleanse.

You might think... how hard could it be? Cook the lobster, pick the lobster, put picked lobster on a grilled hot dog roll and voila, it's done. Well, I can attest that the lobster roll is a complicated friggin' art form. It's not as easy as it looks and not everyone can do it. Case in point - Bay Haven Lobster Pound in Cornish, Maine.

I know what you're thinking – it's my own damn fault for traveling to Cornish for a lobster roll – but we've heard things about this restaurant from many people. The food supposedly good and plentiful. Plentiful, yes... good, well, that's debatable. I had high hopes for this roll because it was only $14. Practically free!

But alas, as soon as it arrived in front of me I knew it was going to be a dud. That piece of lettuce was wedged in there so tightly, there was no removing it without dismantling the entire roll. And while the lobster didn't taste bad exactly, the pieces were too big and chewy and we all know how I feel about having to gnaw off bites of my lobster like a damn wolverine. The only thing they got right was the toasted bun.

In addition to the lobster roll, I also gave their lobster stew a try. This is my second favorite lobster dish to try everywhere I go. The standard is high considering I haven't found anyone to even come close to the deliciousness of a piping hot bowl of DiMillo's lobster stew. And Bay Haven fell short. The broth was bland, lacking the buttery goodness of the stew champion. The lobster was almost all claw meat and tasted slightly overdone.

All in all, the trip to Cornish was pretty disappointing. The other members of my party weren't overly impressed with their meals either. Oh well... you win some, you lose some. Just seems like I've been on the losing end quite a bit this year.

Bernard Lobster Roll: Thurston's Lobster Pound

It's a raw and crummy day so let's reminisce about nicer weather back in September when I was lucky enough to dine at Thurston's Lobster Pound in Bernard, Maine. If you're not familiar with Bernard, it's just south of Acadia National Park on the opposite side of Bass Harbor.

We had never heard of Thurston's and it was definitely not on our radar for someplace to eat during this trip. But in our search for sustenance, this one kept popping up on the interwebs so what the hell... What the hell, indeed! When we pulled into the parking lot at 5:30pm, there was already a line way out the door. I think that's a sign of good food so we didn't mind waiting.

While we waited outside, it was fun to see the employees pop out to the back steamer and throw in numbered bags filled with lobster and steamers and corn. But I already had my eye on the lobster roll. Weird, right? I ordered the Jumbo Lobster Roll for $24.49 – filled to the brim with our famously fresh, handpicked lobster meat. We lightly toss those claws, tails, and knuckles with mayo and pile them on a grilled bun with a bed of lettuce. No fancy stuff necessary. Available in two sizes. (Don't forget a fork for the big one.)

At first glance, I was a little disappointed in the roll vs. lobster ratio (and I definitely wasn't going to need that fork.) The roll looked gigantic and it seemed that maybe there could've been just a little more meat – I'm a fan of the overflowing lobster roll. I also don't appreciate it when the ends of the bun are naked. And the lettuce (ugh)... at least that was easy enough to pluck out.

When I finally took a bite, I was surprisingly pleased. The meat was sweet, salty and tender, with bite-sized pieces, very little mayo and a nicely toasted bun. It came with chips too. I do think it could have been more "jumbo" then it was.

All in all, this was a pretty cool place right on Bass Harbor. (They also serve wine and beer.) But if you're interested in giving it a try, you'll have to wait until the spring – they're now closed for the winter. Maybe if I wasn't a lazy asshole, I could've gotten the review written before the snow fell.